Baptism

As some of you may have already heard, a few weeks ago i got baptised! It was definitely a bit out of the blue, so it may come as a bit of a shock or surprise! It was quite a spontaneous, in the moment decision for me, but it was one that I think I had been putting off for a long time. I think it was last year that I did the whole baptism course thing, but then at the end pulled out and decided not to go through with it. My main reason for holding back was that I really felt that I didn't have a grasp on what it meant to baptised. Or more to the point, I didn't see why I had to. I just couldn't' see why I needed to do it; if I've been a Christian my whole life, then how is getting baptised going to change me? Pretty much I thought I could do without it.

But part of my journey as a Christian has been coming to understand that I don't need to understand that mysteries of baptism before getting baptised! In fact, the less I know, the more i can trust in God! And I remember talking to Helen last year after I decided not to get baptised, and I asked her about her experience of baptism, and she said that part it for her was the not knowing, and the trusting that she will continue to learn more about her baptism even years afterwards. So I'm looking forward to getting deeper with God.

So back to what happened..well it all just came on me really all of sudden that I wanted to get baptised for God. And it was really strong and heavy on me that it was something that I had to do. My conviction was so strong that I couldn't imagine not doing it; not getting baptised just felt like a betray to God, a holding back of something, of being too scared to take a risk. And for me, I didn't need to understand why, I only needed to know that it was something that I was doing out of love for Jesus and nothing else. Not to learn more, not to tick a box, not to make a fuss, but just because I have a relationship with Jesus and that was what made me want to do it for Him.

And so I got baptised that very night, at the minister's house in her spa, with just her and her husband. No one else around. It was nice to do it then and there, with no ceremony or fuss, just between me and God. it really just felt like I was saying a big YES to God, I'm not quite sure what that will come to mean, but I'm just trying to open my heart up to God and let Him in, but I will admit that it is a hard thing to do!

And funnily enough, I guess I do feel a little different now. More, well, mature as a Christian. More responsible, more accountable to my faith. More accountable o God. Hopefully, I'm praying that this will grow and not just last for a Little while.

I was upset that I couldn't have done this at home with all of you guys, but I hope you know that you are a part of me in many ways, and in a way, I think that I needed to be away from home to finally realise that I could do this for God. It's almost like, by moving away from all that is familiar, and losing alot of things that I thought I needed, I discovered that in the midst of losing a lot, I found God even closer then i had ever known Him to be. The less of me, the more of God there is. I think that comes from the bible.....??