Baptism

As some of you may have already heard, a few weeks ago i got baptised! It was definitely a bit out of the blue, so it may come as a bit of a shock or surprise! It was quite a spontaneous, in the moment decision for me, but it was one that I think I had been putting off for a long time. I think it was last year that I did the whole baptism course thing, but then at the end pulled out and decided not to go through with it. My main reason for holding back was that I really felt that I didn't have a grasp on what it meant to baptised. Or more to the point, I didn't see why I had to. I just couldn't' see why I needed to do it; if I've been a Christian my whole life, then how is getting baptised going to change me? Pretty much I thought I could do without it.

But part of my journey as a Christian has been coming to understand that I don't need to understand that mysteries of baptism before getting baptised! In fact, the less I know, the more i can trust in God! And I remember talking to Helen last year after I decided not to get baptised, and I asked her about her experience of baptism, and she said that part it for her was the not knowing, and the trusting that she will continue to learn more about her baptism even years afterwards. So I'm looking forward to getting deeper with God.

So back to what happened..well it all just came on me really all of sudden that I wanted to get baptised for God. And it was really strong and heavy on me that it was something that I had to do. My conviction was so strong that I couldn't imagine not doing it; not getting baptised just felt like a betray to God, a holding back of something, of being too scared to take a risk. And for me, I didn't need to understand why, I only needed to know that it was something that I was doing out of love for Jesus and nothing else. Not to learn more, not to tick a box, not to make a fuss, but just because I have a relationship with Jesus and that was what made me want to do it for Him.

And so I got baptised that very night, at the minister's house in her spa, with just her and her husband. No one else around. It was nice to do it then and there, with no ceremony or fuss, just between me and God. it really just felt like I was saying a big YES to God, I'm not quite sure what that will come to mean, but I'm just trying to open my heart up to God and let Him in, but I will admit that it is a hard thing to do!

And funnily enough, I guess I do feel a little different now. More, well, mature as a Christian. More responsible, more accountable to my faith. More accountable o God. Hopefully, I'm praying that this will grow and not just last for a Little while.

I was upset that I couldn't have done this at home with all of you guys, but I hope you know that you are a part of me in many ways, and in a way, I think that I needed to be away from home to finally realise that I could do this for God. It's almost like, by moving away from all that is familiar, and losing alot of things that I thought I needed, I discovered that in the midst of losing a lot, I found God even closer then i had ever known Him to be. The less of me, the more of God there is. I think that comes from the bible.....??

Miracle!

In M15 (the class that new students to the school are placed in), there was one particular boy who was terribly misbehaved; he would would swear, refuse to do his work, come to class late and disrupt the lessons! To tell the truth, I never thought that I would see him move up to the next class. I thought that in the short time that I'm here, he would still be in M15 when I leave in December. But lo and behold, I walk into one of the other classes that I help out with, only to find that my dear old friend has been moved up!! YAY!!! I was so excited for him, and really proud of what he's managed to achieve so quickly. He has been absolutely desperate to get to a new class, and would get really frustrated whenever a new student to M15 would get moved up before he did. So to see him get to where he wanted to be, it makes all of it worth it.

And it is amazing the difference that it makes when he's in this new class. The group of students that he's with now are all really keen to learn and they are, on the whole, a really great class. I think that by putting him in a new environment where everyone is working hard, it's brought the best out in him. He came in, really quiet and serious, sat down, and did his work without making even one noise. Usually, he would sit in his seat and drum his pens on the table really loudly so that no one could focus, or he would lie on the floor or walk around the room. But there has been a real transformation in him, literally overnight! When we had our computer lesson, he was asking me non-stop questions - "what's and angle miss? What's a grid miss?" ect ect! He was filled with such curiosity about absolutely everything!

And for his first period in the new class, he learnt how to do fractions, yay! This is a boy who doesn't know how to do division...yet. He really was amazing! I guess that it kind of showed me that I shouldn't believe that something is impossible...especially with God! But I really didn't think that I would be here to see him move out of M15, so I got proved wrong yet again! I love being proved wrong! I love seeing things like this happen though, it really is true that little miracles are happening everyday!

There is a small amount of regret involved on my behalf, because I really enjoy being in class with this student, but now that he's not in M15 I won't be working with him even half as much. But for him, this is the best thing that could possibly happen and it's going to be really good for him, so I'm just really happy for him!