Good days and bad days

As with anything in life, at Kormilda College you have your good days and you have your bad days. Yesterday was definitely one of the days that I probably could have done without!

The entire day was spent with class M15-the naughtiest kids who are all plonked together in the same class to stop them from disrupting the learning of the other Indigenous students. So as you can imagine, this classroom is a riot most of the time. Despite this, this class is one of my favourites, probably because they are all the misfits!

However, yesterday they took 'misbehaving' to a whole new extreme level. Firstly, it was Friday, which meant that they were tired and ready for the weekend, and their concentration was totally out the window.One of the boys decided that he didn't feel like working, so he proceeded to kick chairs around, piff textas at the wall as hard as he could and yell obscenities at the top of his voice in protest to the teacher who was only trying to help him. (On a positive note, he did agree to pick up the mess of textas after he stopped his rage)

Next was music class with M15. Absolute chaos for an hour and a half. The teacher was trying to get the class to play some music together as a band, but three of the boys decided that they preferred to make as much noise as possible on the drum kits and with the electric guitars. Very selfishly they ruined the whole lesson for the rest of the kids, who were being very cooperative.

Yesterday was the first day that I actually felt drained and tired, and even frustrated. I have never felt angry towards the kids when they mess up, but yesterday I was quite exasperated and at my wits end. It was quite a challenging day. Sometimes it feels like you waste a whole day and don't get anywhere, and it can be a bit disillusioning. But I think that at the end of it, I come to the conclusion that the more I struggle and come up against obstacles, the stronger my conviction grows that I need to be where I am, that I'm called to be in this specific place at this particular time. I'll be truthful, I'm not really sure what it is that God is calling me to do, but I am sure that He's using me even when I don't know how or when. Sometimes you don't need to know the answers or the way to go, you've just got a song in your heart and a prayer that you're living out, and the rest is up to the big guy. It's hard, but I have to hold onto the faith that compassion and love and joy can overcome even the darkest parts of our world, and I have to believe that God will work through me to bring these things into the lives of those around me.

So these times of weakness and heartache are important, because it keeps me focused on God and it reminds me that I have God to guide me every step of the way. In the end there is nothing to big for God to handle, and even when there is no conceivable way out or it seems that there is no answer, God is always calling us forward to imagine a new reality where all of our needs are taken care of. Where love is the most important factor.