Maybe no rain...

Hello friends!! It's been a while since I blogged! You'll be sad to hear that all my excitement about the rain has come to nothing-there hasn't been a drop for weeks!! It seems the weather is teasing us up here!

Here are some of the things that have been happening in Darwin-

-On Saturday night, myself and Kathi were having a competition to see who ould do the most arm culrs with a 5kg weight. I thought we would go for a few seconds, but it quickly turned into a full 5 minute effort. I must have put too much energy into it though, because even today I still can't stretch my right arm straight-all my muscles in my arm have cramped up! I've learnt something new about myslef, that I can be a little competetive! So can Kathi (we decided to finish together in the end because we were both in so much pain!!!!)

-Yesterday one of the younger girls who is boarding here got taken away due to constant bad behaviour. Pretty much neither the school or the dorms could control her anymore. I got really upset about the whole thing last night, because she is a FACS (Family and Children Services) kid, and has had a pretty hard life of being moved around a lot from place to place. I don't think she's had a lot of stability in her life in terms of family and relationships, which I think has probably efefcted her deeply (and who wouldn't be effected by something like that?). I was in the dorm when the FACS people came to take her away, and I could hear her crying and screaming in what I thought sounded a lot like fear and anger. I can only imagine that she would have been feeling very betrayed about the school kicking her out. I later found out that she is only on a two weeks suspension, so I am really thankful that the school is giving her another chance. I hope that if you have the time to think about it, you might be able to say a little prayer for her. I'm really worried about her.

-Lately I've been thinking a lot about how amazing God's love is for us, how the Creator of the universe, so perfect and Holy and HUGE, could possibly take the time to care about me and who actually wants to be involved in my life. Even though I hurt Him and sin all the time (I'll never learn will I??) He still keeps coming back and forgiving and loving me. And then, we're caleld to respond to this by passing it on EVERYONE around us, no conditions, no exceptions. We should be showing God's love to those around us, and there's no room for judgemetn against each other anymore, becuase Jesus dealt with all of that stuff on the Cross. It can be hard loving some people, but the point is God doesn't jsut put up with us, he loves us. So we can do the same for others.

Please comment and email and write to me and txt me! I miss you all and I think about you guys everyday! I'll see you all soon!

Rain!

Yes, it has actually started raining up here in NT!! It is an amazing time of year right now, the build up to the wet season is starting to break, and last night was a true downpour! Within 5 minutes the weather had changed from one extreme to another. One second it was hot, humid and sticky with the sun blaring down, and the next minute there were dark, grey swirling clouds covering the sky and sheets of rain pouring down. There was awesome lightning and thunder! Up here, the storms are so much more electric due to the heat. The power of the weather is incredible! Locals have told me that when the true wet season begins, you can get 20cm of rain in 10 minutes!

But something else really cool and exciting happened yesterday. See, there's this one girl in year 11 who I get along with really well who hadn't returned to school yet, whereas most of the other boarders had flown into Darwin the week earlier. When I asked after her whereabouts one of the Houseparents told me quietly that they suspected that she wasn't coming back. So I was pretty upset about it; I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to her, and it sounded as though I might not see her again. I didn't even have a contact number. A few nights ago I prayed that she would come back, or at least go to another school. Because often when the students don't come back it means that they won't go to school and they'll get lost in the welfare system. And my friend was so close to finishing high school.

Then, as I'm standing outside the dining room, I see this bright, smiling face before me; it took me a few seconds to register that it was my long lost friend! All in the same moment it was a great surprise and relief, and I felt so overjoyed, ecstatic even, to see this person whom I had believed I would not see again! I literally jumped on her in my happiness to give her the biggest hug!

Unexpected surprises are definitely the best kind, especially when they involve seeing someone who you thought wasn't coming back! And I am really thankful to God for all that He's done!

Baptism

As some of you may have already heard, a few weeks ago i got baptised! It was definitely a bit out of the blue, so it may come as a bit of a shock or surprise! It was quite a spontaneous, in the moment decision for me, but it was one that I think I had been putting off for a long time. I think it was last year that I did the whole baptism course thing, but then at the end pulled out and decided not to go through with it. My main reason for holding back was that I really felt that I didn't have a grasp on what it meant to baptised. Or more to the point, I didn't see why I had to. I just couldn't' see why I needed to do it; if I've been a Christian my whole life, then how is getting baptised going to change me? Pretty much I thought I could do without it.

But part of my journey as a Christian has been coming to understand that I don't need to understand that mysteries of baptism before getting baptised! In fact, the less I know, the more i can trust in God! And I remember talking to Helen last year after I decided not to get baptised, and I asked her about her experience of baptism, and she said that part it for her was the not knowing, and the trusting that she will continue to learn more about her baptism even years afterwards. So I'm looking forward to getting deeper with God.

So back to what happened..well it all just came on me really all of sudden that I wanted to get baptised for God. And it was really strong and heavy on me that it was something that I had to do. My conviction was so strong that I couldn't imagine not doing it; not getting baptised just felt like a betray to God, a holding back of something, of being too scared to take a risk. And for me, I didn't need to understand why, I only needed to know that it was something that I was doing out of love for Jesus and nothing else. Not to learn more, not to tick a box, not to make a fuss, but just because I have a relationship with Jesus and that was what made me want to do it for Him.

And so I got baptised that very night, at the minister's house in her spa, with just her and her husband. No one else around. It was nice to do it then and there, with no ceremony or fuss, just between me and God. it really just felt like I was saying a big YES to God, I'm not quite sure what that will come to mean, but I'm just trying to open my heart up to God and let Him in, but I will admit that it is a hard thing to do!

And funnily enough, I guess I do feel a little different now. More, well, mature as a Christian. More responsible, more accountable to my faith. More accountable o God. Hopefully, I'm praying that this will grow and not just last for a Little while.

I was upset that I couldn't have done this at home with all of you guys, but I hope you know that you are a part of me in many ways, and in a way, I think that I needed to be away from home to finally realise that I could do this for God. It's almost like, by moving away from all that is familiar, and losing alot of things that I thought I needed, I discovered that in the midst of losing a lot, I found God even closer then i had ever known Him to be. The less of me, the more of God there is. I think that comes from the bible.....??

Miracle!

In M15 (the class that new students to the school are placed in), there was one particular boy who was terribly misbehaved; he would would swear, refuse to do his work, come to class late and disrupt the lessons! To tell the truth, I never thought that I would see him move up to the next class. I thought that in the short time that I'm here, he would still be in M15 when I leave in December. But lo and behold, I walk into one of the other classes that I help out with, only to find that my dear old friend has been moved up!! YAY!!! I was so excited for him, and really proud of what he's managed to achieve so quickly. He has been absolutely desperate to get to a new class, and would get really frustrated whenever a new student to M15 would get moved up before he did. So to see him get to where he wanted to be, it makes all of it worth it.

And it is amazing the difference that it makes when he's in this new class. The group of students that he's with now are all really keen to learn and they are, on the whole, a really great class. I think that by putting him in a new environment where everyone is working hard, it's brought the best out in him. He came in, really quiet and serious, sat down, and did his work without making even one noise. Usually, he would sit in his seat and drum his pens on the table really loudly so that no one could focus, or he would lie on the floor or walk around the room. But there has been a real transformation in him, literally overnight! When we had our computer lesson, he was asking me non-stop questions - "what's and angle miss? What's a grid miss?" ect ect! He was filled with such curiosity about absolutely everything!

And for his first period in the new class, he learnt how to do fractions, yay! This is a boy who doesn't know how to do division...yet. He really was amazing! I guess that it kind of showed me that I shouldn't believe that something is impossible...especially with God! But I really didn't think that I would be here to see him move out of M15, so I got proved wrong yet again! I love being proved wrong! I love seeing things like this happen though, it really is true that little miracles are happening everyday!

There is a small amount of regret involved on my behalf, because I really enjoy being in class with this student, but now that he's not in M15 I won't be working with him even half as much. But for him, this is the best thing that could possibly happen and it's going to be really good for him, so I'm just really happy for him!

My address!

Hello everyone! How are you all? I'd love to hear from you and find out what you've all been up to! My postal address (if anyone is inspired to write to me!) is -

Kormilda College
Berrimah rd
Berrimah
0828
NT

I've been quite busy this week-yesterday I worked from 7.30am to 7pm!! I was only meant to stay in the dorm until 5pm, but I was enjoying hanging out with the kids, plus I had to clean up all the paint that we'd left behind after our activity (that took a while to do!!!) I've had about 3 extra hours added to my timetable, which included shifts that I work in the residences. That pretty much involves laundry, hanging out with the kids and running activities and homework help. So all really exciting stuff!!!!

Today we took the middle school indigenous classes to the national wildlife park, as a bit of a day off from school. It was a great day, although it was very hot and tiring to walk around in the glaring sun all day, whilst looking after a group of boys! I bought my video camera, which they very much enjoyed using, although they weren't too good at keeping it steady so the video is quite hilarious to watch!!! :)

My new residential shifts are in the senior dorms, which I haven't ever really had anything to do with yet. So far, I help out in middle school classes and at the girls middle school dorm, so hopefully this will give me a chance to get to know the older kids whoa re closer to my age! It's so funny, whenever a student asks me how old I am, they always seem really surprised that im 18-they reckon im 19 or 20! (thats the first time anyone has overestimated my age!!)

I'm loving hanging out with these kids and building relationships with them. It's been fascinating to learn about their culture, things like what their Dreamings are, and what kinds of foods they eat when they're at home!

Anyway, I've gotta go now, I'm off to see a circus performance and I'm meant to be meeting the other gappies right now! I hope you're all well, and that life is abundant and challenging! Please feel free to txt me, or email me, and I'll try and email as many of you as I can soon!!!

Songman

One of the teachers who lives at the school recently lent me an autobiography called "Songman", which is the story of an Aboriginal Elder's life. At the age of seven, Bob Randall was stolen away from his mother as part of the scheme to assimilate mixed-race children into mainstream white society, which was achieved by cutting them away from their traditional homes and everything that was ever familiar and safe to them.

I've only read a few chapters into the book, but already the pain and trauma that this man has had to endure at the hands of the white missionaries who were "called by God" to "save" these children is evident and shocking to read. How these people could have preached a Jesus of love and compassion to the Indigenous people, and then treated them with cruelty and hatred, I will never understand. Perhaps I don't want to be able to understand.

But the amazing thing is, that despite the fact that Bob was degraded and treated as inferior, and even though the missionaries and teachers never demonstrated simple love towards the children, it seems that Bob began to recognise God's face in the natural world around him:

"I began to realise that the God that was being talked about was everywhere and in everything. Life was God in all things and it was only humans who were in the position of denying that, through our confused minds. Everything was already completely perfect, a dance of creation, a celebration of life itself in the land, in absolutely everything."

Pretty cool hey! Instead of discovering God in the people around him, he found it in the natural environment. How sad it is that we treated the Aboriginal people so abhorrently. Sometimes I wonder if there couldn't have been another way to do things. How could we have come to this land in peace? I wonder what alternatives there could have been, and if those alternatives aren't too far gone to reclaim?

Christ himself is our peace. He made both Jewish people and those who are not Jews one people. They were separated as if there were a wall between them, but Christ broke down that wall of hate by giving His own body.
Ephesians 2:14

Good days and bad days

As with anything in life, at Kormilda College you have your good days and you have your bad days. Yesterday was definitely one of the days that I probably could have done without!

The entire day was spent with class M15-the naughtiest kids who are all plonked together in the same class to stop them from disrupting the learning of the other Indigenous students. So as you can imagine, this classroom is a riot most of the time. Despite this, this class is one of my favourites, probably because they are all the misfits!

However, yesterday they took 'misbehaving' to a whole new extreme level. Firstly, it was Friday, which meant that they were tired and ready for the weekend, and their concentration was totally out the window.One of the boys decided that he didn't feel like working, so he proceeded to kick chairs around, piff textas at the wall as hard as he could and yell obscenities at the top of his voice in protest to the teacher who was only trying to help him. (On a positive note, he did agree to pick up the mess of textas after he stopped his rage)

Next was music class with M15. Absolute chaos for an hour and a half. The teacher was trying to get the class to play some music together as a band, but three of the boys decided that they preferred to make as much noise as possible on the drum kits and with the electric guitars. Very selfishly they ruined the whole lesson for the rest of the kids, who were being very cooperative.

Yesterday was the first day that I actually felt drained and tired, and even frustrated. I have never felt angry towards the kids when they mess up, but yesterday I was quite exasperated and at my wits end. It was quite a challenging day. Sometimes it feels like you waste a whole day and don't get anywhere, and it can be a bit disillusioning. But I think that at the end of it, I come to the conclusion that the more I struggle and come up against obstacles, the stronger my conviction grows that I need to be where I am, that I'm called to be in this specific place at this particular time. I'll be truthful, I'm not really sure what it is that God is calling me to do, but I am sure that He's using me even when I don't know how or when. Sometimes you don't need to know the answers or the way to go, you've just got a song in your heart and a prayer that you're living out, and the rest is up to the big guy. It's hard, but I have to hold onto the faith that compassion and love and joy can overcome even the darkest parts of our world, and I have to believe that God will work through me to bring these things into the lives of those around me.

So these times of weakness and heartache are important, because it keeps me focused on God and it reminds me that I have God to guide me every step of the way. In the end there is nothing to big for God to handle, and even when there is no conceivable way out or it seems that there is no answer, God is always calling us forward to imagine a new reality where all of our needs are taken care of. Where love is the most important factor.